Scribblings Of A Dramatic Introvert

The thoughts in my head are haywire.  My co-worker had a fourth baby last month. I got married a decade before her, yet I have none. The baby's cries irritates me, but I don't get to complain. She tells me everything; too many details. She asks me to borrow her money sometimes, not that I have much to spare, but I can't hold back or I'd be termed the hater.  The baby is just a baby. I can't say if he's beautiful or not; I just get disgusted that she's having it easy. There was another baby today; a little girl, I heard. I should've gone to say hello to the mother, but she's also just another young girl who shouldn't be having babies of her own; she's barely twenty. Yet someway, she had no problem conceiving when she didn't want a child. She should still be in school, but there she sits welcoming well-wishers with no thought as to how she intends to raise the thing she has just birth.  I ask why I'm so unfortunate in this regard. It...

Does it thrill you to brush shoulders with death? For the past couple of weeks, I've been on a posting to my teaching hospital complex in a different town - Ilesha and oh boy! There's this universality to how they drive here; like they're having a Colorado party. The rate they have fatal road traffic accidents is through the roof and I totally get it. Lagos drivers are silly and impatient but these guys literally have no reason to tumble through town the way they do. So I'm here on a rant about reckless driving. What's the point of it? To meet Jesus early, or the need to check if your room in Abraham's mansion is getting dusty?  Frankly, I understand that from time to time, there's an urge to jump into the abyss and escape from the hell on earth, as we quite often term it. It however baffles me that some of you take active steps into catching a glimpse into Hades. Do you crave death that much or what's the hurry, really? Road traffic accidents are a huge...

Alternate universe The past week has been very much interesting for me, learning a lot regarding mental disorders and their presentations.  People are so different and thresholds for handling the bullshit life throws at us is even more diverse. Some people have built fantasies in their heads where they feel at peace (the best way to handle this sick world if we're keeping it real BTW), and yet we try so hard to yank them into our own worlds based on the construct of mannerisms and appropriate retorts we grew up to learn. There's this whole concept of insight where someone has to accept that they have a mental disorder before you can say your treatment is working. But here here: There's over seven billion people on earth; living on the planet and drinking of the water that flows beneath the soil beds. It's going to be ridiculous to expect everyone to see the world through the same glasses.  Understandably, when someone fails to get integrated into the society, we categor...

Here's why old men are adorable: Today, I walked into church with one goal:  find a location where everyone minds their business and respects social distancing (I'm very big on people keeping their businesses far away from me in this panoramic) so where else would I fit in, if not among the white haired members of the congregation? I go ahead to sit beside this dude who's probably closer to ninety than he is to seventy, and I find myself staring at the white hair curled in his pinna. I think about their lives in retrospect a lot; old people.  My fave is in a lace agbada that went out of vogue decades ago when his wife was maybe still alive to critique his taste in fabric; his back hunched over and his cap in his hands, as he looks right ahead of him.  His hands are thinned out, dry and wrinkled and he reaches for his Bible as the readings begin. I look him over and every portion of his skin has lost the bounce and shine we try so hard to maintain with all sort of organi...

Maybe it hasn't been all that bad. Everybody has been talking about their year in retrospect, as today is the last day, yet I found a way to get pissed off at the concept.  It's just another Thursday. Tomorrow is just another day and it doesn't matter. While I was sulking about how cliche it sounds to carry out an end of the year accountability and rub it in everyone's faces, my brother thought to ginger me and point out that I've not been a total bum this year.  Count your little wins and exaggerate them if it makes you feel better, he said.  I had plans to write of how useless the year has been, but here instead I'd sing about how great it's been. One tiny win at a time; as a blogger, social media noise maker, educator, friend and maybe, just a little bit as a one-time medical student. The bum: I had the worst oral exam of my life this year and cried for days in the bathroom and longer under my blanket because I'm such a baby. A few weeks later, my gro...

"It was love at first sight",  "I knew she was the one", "He fought for us", "I can't imagine life without her in it." A. Must be nice to sit back and watch your 12 grandchildren turn your house into a playground, screaming and sending your blood pressure up. You tell your wife not to chase after them because kids will be kids. Of course you're their favourite grandpa. It's your last daughter's wedding and she bagged a fine young man, like her two older sisters who wed before her. You hear her tell her friends on the eve of her wedding that she wanted her man to be just like you, her father- perfect.  You pull your beautiful, incredibly 'still hot' wife to your side and whisper that you love her. You do, in fact. Despite how much she breaks your heart, you love how much she has been committed to keeping you both together. She didn't have crazy dreams, she just took care of the babies and made a few cents to buy you a t...

Jittery The past few days have been tough. I've been slipping in and out of myself, questioning why I have to be stuck in this limbo, every new day bringing new meaning to edginess.  My pastor once said my generation suffers from information overload due to our exposure to the internet; social media being our go-to for every update. Torn between being ignorant and knowing what's going on, we expose ourselves to everyone's emotions; taking it all in without room for careful selection.  You're scrolling through your timeline and you see a graphic image of someone hacked to death, burnt, or shot at; you want to know what happened but the story is even much worse than the image. The brutality you realize you're not immune to; you could really just die for being unlucky. Insomnia, overwhelming sadness and everything else hits you. Today, I saw a police officer wield a pistol pointing to the sky, aiming. He wasn't the only one, as the others looked even more dangerous...