Here now, goodbye 2020

Maybe it hasn't been all that bad.

Everybody has been talking about their year in retrospect, as today is the last day, yet I found a way to get pissed off at the concept. 

It's just another Thursday. Tomorrow is just another day and it doesn't matter.

While I was sulking about how cliche it sounds to carry out an end of the year accountability and rub it in everyone's faces, my brother thought to ginger me and point out that I've not been a total bum this year. 

Count your little wins and exaggerate them if it makes you feel better, he said. 

I had plans to write of how useless the year has been, but here instead I'd sing about how great it's been. One tiny win at a time; as a blogger, social media noise maker, educator, friend and maybe, just a little bit as a one-time medical student.

The bum:

I had the worst oral exam of my life this year and cried for days in the bathroom and longer under my blanket because I'm such a baby. A few weeks later, my group was cheered as the smartest set by some doctor (who was probably being nice and didn't realize how much I needed that validation). 

Something died in me in January after that exam and I was sure I was going to have a rough academic year, but then COVID happened and I decided we were all going to die; even prepped my room in Ife to look welcoming in case zombies came and got hungry for some spaghetti.

Well, it got really quiet after that and I took to blogging here (not as much as I wanted to anyway). I had slipbacks like everyone else and bawled my eyes out a lot. I got very active on Twitter, crossing over 12k tweets from 1k (Yes, it's one hell of an achievement to become a noisemaker) and made a couple of buddies from there. It was nice to be able to whine about life with my online faves and not get judged.

Through this, being a part of volunteer groups, I had to put my skills to good use, trying to keep up with getting content out there and trust me, it's exhausting to remind people they have to submit helpful content.

 I never thought I'd take my life serious, but I did get accepted into two different platforms which I applied to randomly (said a lot of gibberish in the application mails about my awesomeness) and I got response from an American based editor-in-chief which further inspired me to want to push beyond my self-drawn boundaries.

The great part is that I didn't scratch open old wounds. Dead friendships remained dead; very much unlike myself who previously would have gone ahead to put bridges back up and made a fool of myself with people who clearly didn't give a hoot about me, I respected myself and learnt to own my space.

In September, elementary schools resumed and my kids came around. Surprisingly, I became their fave. It was a very strange moment for me when I took a couple of weeks off and returned to them hugging me and being clearly excited to have me back. I thought they hated me and the way I made them do mathematics. Did I inspire them? Maybe. 

Above all, I learnt to love and forgive myself. Meeting this amazing person has most definitely been the highlight of my year. It's been most of the year and clearly, I've found the best friend I always wanted to have in a person. To let someone into your space is far from easy and while I keep learning, this for me has been the best thing that happened to me in the year.

More than all these, I'm super grateful for my circle of friends. We don't talk everyday but they've been the best humans ever. Whenever I think of them individually, I'm convinced God loves me. You truly don't have to do much to have had a great year. 

And for the handful of people that follow this blog anonymously, everything I do here, I do for our collective growth.

It's been one hell of a year for us all. Cheers to 2020, the year that took and took and made us almost forget how to count our blessings.

All images from Pinterest.