Scribblings Of A Dramatic Introvert

"Rather than fix it, I pulled down a hundred more veils." That's what I told him, I believe. What use is it to make yourself vulnerable, When you'd call more attention to your darkness? To what end do your intentions matter? Maybe if I stood behind a veil, I'd be left alone I made myself believe Another compromise Yet somehow a few managed to hold my gaze through this hypothetical veil "Let me fix you," some offered, hunger in their eyes Others(If this passes for everyone, all of them) weren't so keen "You're fucked up," they said; literally. So rather than be sulky I'm throwing it in My laughs would be louder And my paranoia top notch My indifference would be projected more clearly Let alone, I'd be just as I am Maybe there's no veil any longer This is me Unveiled Naked.

Welcome home Isn't it lovely? You try so hard to make a farce And realize you are as lost as you'd been five years ago It's been a long time Yet her voice is still as loud as ever Up in my head she's not screaming Just calling Come Home I can't go through I know the way home But I don't want to I want to be happy too I want to climb out of here I don't want to hear her call to me It drives me nuts I want to be alone But she always finds me And days when I fall to my knees Eyes shut in prayer Her voice, even louder rings in my ears I want to find peace I really do

  "Speaking of lovely; That's what I've always known them to be all my life. Their  skin- creamy white and their figure: eight- perfect for the view. I told  my father they were like mayonnaise. Some of them were white as sheet, adorned as the image of perfection. They had beautiful hair,  tumbling downwards in docile curls. Mine was ugly; it  remained an amusement to my brothers who  had made a game of hiding my combs just to see me run with the thick mane on my head every morning I had to visit the onídìrì. I had wanted just the hair as a little  girl. I spent good time staring at commercials that played on our fourteen inch TV set, in awe. My father usually snapped me out of it, sending me to my books; the  only way, he chanted day after night. Still , I was always mesmerized by them. I never did look down on my own skin. I didn't  realize we were worlds apart. Their  flow seeming unnatural, I once thought they were goddesses. I g...

This was different, the tears just didn't stop He had only given a suggestion; what he wanted. He told his mother he didn't want to sit in her laps, on the bus ride back home. It was uncomfortable. And made his legs hurt. So she told him to sit on the steaming engine, behind the driver's seat. "It's too hot, I want to sit on my own. It's just sixty naira." He had grumbled But not for long His mother hit him hard across his cheek with her bare palms till he cried out. "Stupid boy," She hissed and pulled him into her laps, Threatening to hit him further if he didn't stop quivering. So he muffled his cries, And she looked out the window. All she had in her purse was the fare for the ride back home. She didn't need a selfish whiny child If he thought she didn't wish to pay for his solo ride, he got it wrong. She worked too hard for him all day long to afford his school fees. Today had been another bad day....

You came in as a slave to my dispensation Or that was at least what I thought. Although, you've never been one to fit in my back pocket Nor fit in the crease of my palms But you my love, Slowly taught me devotion. I never failed to note your succumb to outage of energy, And I ever dutifully restored you to normalcy, My soft palm softly caressing your fragile bodice. You always lay in wait for me, And even if I never could tell so Finding you always made me a lot more than simply giddy. Maybe you never listened (Or you were just incapable of doing so) But I dare say I served you more than you did me. When you had your first fall over a rock hard surface, Slashes threatening to ruin your flawless face, Little did I know that was the beginning of your fall from grace. You push me to edges, Flip us over, tugging hard at my neck scarf Staring hard into my eyes as you shut down in stillness. I've pulled you back to life each time, But honey I'm so ti...

I'd probably miss you as long as I exist; Maybe get more depressed than I already am, With you being so nonchalant towards my affection for you Pride courses through your veins Your words are neither here nor there And you never admit if you have any feelings left to spare for me Your eyes never betray your feelings You make me tug at your shoulders and get distracted someway It drives me nuts to give so much, for nothing at all. So baby, if you want to leave, biko leave. You've done so much messing with my head and all Carrying your shoulders up high and rubbing it in my face We both know I have my fair share of pride And so, I'll never mouth anymore good sweet words into your ears. You don't know what you do to me But now henceforth you've become a scam to me Everything I thought we share shall now be referred to as the crap it is Your network has faded from my receptor And the pride in you? It reeks of something between pure attracti...

Do you regret it? Decisions you made in the last few months Journeys you embarked upon No one knowing of your destination Not even you, at times. Dares you'd sworn to take up Challenges you beat their odds at someone else's expense Nights you stayed home to cry Days you turned off your mobile phones to avoid some phone calls Or nights you snuggled in rather than hang out?  Do you regret them? Those jerks you cursed the day you met? Lovers you turned to mush before their gazes, Yet you let go of for the greater good? Friends you swore allegiance to, Yet you couldn't help being helpless when they needed you the most? Do you regret you? The stupid things you've done The unsolicited lies you've told The smart things you've said to mock the illiteracy of some The words that won The ones that hurt Do you wish to change them? Or you just don't even care anymore? Do you even still know what it feels like to hear you own heart bea...