Scribblings Of A Dramatic Introvert

This was different, the tears just didn't stop He had only given a suggestion; what he wanted. He told his mother he didn't want to sit in her laps, on the bus ride back home. It was uncomfortable. And made his legs hurt. So she told him to sit on the steaming engine, behind the driver's seat. "It's too hot, I want to sit on my own. It's just sixty naira." He had grumbled But not for long His mother hit him hard across his cheek with her bare palms till he cried out. "Stupid boy," She hissed and pulled him into her laps, Threatening to hit him further if he didn't stop quivering. So he muffled his cries, And she looked out the window. All she had in her purse was the fare for the ride back home. She didn't need a selfish whiny child If he thought she didn't wish to pay for his solo ride, he got it wrong. She worked too hard for him all day long to afford his school fees. Today had been another bad day....

You came in as a slave to my dispensation Or that was at least what I thought. Although, you've never been one to fit in my back pocket Nor fit in the crease of my palms But you my love, Slowly taught me devotion. I never failed to note your succumb to outage of energy, And I ever dutifully restored you to normalcy, My soft palm softly caressing your fragile bodice. You always lay in wait for me, And even if I never could tell so Finding you always made me a lot more than simply giddy. Maybe you never listened (Or you were just incapable of doing so) But I dare say I served you more than you did me. When you had your first fall over a rock hard surface, Slashes threatening to ruin your flawless face, Little did I know that was the beginning of your fall from grace. You push me to edges, Flip us over, tugging hard at my neck scarf Staring hard into my eyes as you shut down in stillness. I've pulled you back to life each time, But honey I'm so ti...

I'd probably miss you as long as I exist; Maybe get more depressed than I already am, With you being so nonchalant towards my affection for you Pride courses through your veins Your words are neither here nor there And you never admit if you have any feelings left to spare for me Your eyes never betray your feelings You make me tug at your shoulders and get distracted someway It drives me nuts to give so much, for nothing at all. So baby, if you want to leave, biko leave. You've done so much messing with my head and all Carrying your shoulders up high and rubbing it in my face We both know I have my fair share of pride And so, I'll never mouth anymore good sweet words into your ears. You don't know what you do to me But now henceforth you've become a scam to me Everything I thought we share shall now be referred to as the crap it is Your network has faded from my receptor And the pride in you? It reeks of something between pure attracti...

Do you regret it? Decisions you made in the last few months Journeys you embarked upon No one knowing of your destination Not even you, at times. Dares you'd sworn to take up Challenges you beat their odds at someone else's expense Nights you stayed home to cry Days you turned off your mobile phones to avoid some phone calls Or nights you snuggled in rather than hang out?  Do you regret them? Those jerks you cursed the day you met? Lovers you turned to mush before their gazes, Yet you let go of for the greater good? Friends you swore allegiance to, Yet you couldn't help being helpless when they needed you the most? Do you regret you? The stupid things you've done The unsolicited lies you've told The smart things you've said to mock the illiteracy of some The words that won The ones that hurt Do you wish to change them? Or you just don't even care anymore? Do you even still know what it feels like to hear you own heart bea...

What do you need me to say, As I stand here, listening to your blasphemous declarations? You tell them she's younger, she's everything. She's prettier, I've seen too. Extremely mesmerizing to the eyes. I know you've been to her apartment thrice in the last four days, Now you tell them you didn't want to seem desperate on the fourth day, but, She makes you see heaven, you vouch. You're in love, you say again. How? I'm still standing outside your door, Awestruck. So it was indeed her. She's not even smart, I've heard. Even now you tell your friends she only eats takeout meals. She can't make magic with Efo riro like you say I do. She's just another challenge to you. Can't you see she would bore you in no time? Can't you see I've given it all I can? Can't you see how I trust you so much? How you made me ease into you and lose my damn mind? I saw you with her two months ago. She was smiling,...

Walking through the same route, Returning from night classes where I stay for less hours now. I've laughed out loud at things that hurt me, and I've given sarcastic replies to shield myself from piety. I've stared long and hard into my future, Raising my eyes back devoid of feelings. Shed tears at simple matters, and Lost friends who either called me selfish or a sick proud soul. So this midnight as I find my way back to my cradle, Everything rushes in. My earplugs are blaring 'Beautiful night' on repeat; A song that I fancy just for the sonorous beats, The lyrics I doubt I'd ever relate to. My flashlight is out, But my feet know their way home. My lips are eager to mumble nicer words, To everyone of them. I keep walking. By morning, it would all be gone. These memories, This knot in my belly. It definitely is a beautiful night.

23/11. Tonight, I'd stay wrapped up in my fluffy blankets, Pick at my purple fingernails smeared in messy polish, Occasionally glance up at the patterns I've made in ink, high up on my yellow walls. My eyes have learnt to skip the daily reminder of my goals I put up there though; (It's routine to scoff at that lately.) I'd shield my eyes from the 100 Watt light bulb That otherwise threatens to blind me, Kick my feet high in the air, Tune up the music volume on my poor quality headset, (I've been dying to get a $300 worth Beats by Dre headset) But it's loud enough to blare through my eardrums. I definitely do not mind one bit; Loud enough to take me floating through the seven heavens and nine clouds, Or at least make a show of doing just that. Loud music, Lazy scribblings, And definitely long naps under fluffy blankets- That's my forté. S.I.Y.A.H