Scribblings Of A Dramatic Introvert

What do you need me to say, As I stand here, listening to your blasphemous declarations? You tell them she's younger, she's everything. She's prettier, I've seen too. Extremely mesmerizing to the eyes. I know you've been to her apartment thrice in the last four days, Now you tell them you didn't want to seem desperate on the fourth day, but, She makes you see heaven, you vouch. You're in love, you say again. How? I'm still standing outside your door, Awestruck. So it was indeed her. She's not even smart, I've heard. Even now you tell your friends she only eats takeout meals. She can't make magic with Efo riro like you say I do. She's just another challenge to you. Can't you see she would bore you in no time? Can't you see I've given it all I can? Can't you see how I trust you so much? How you made me ease into you and lose my damn mind? I saw you with her two months ago. She was smiling,...

Walking through the same route, Returning from night classes where I stay for less hours now. I've laughed out loud at things that hurt me, and I've given sarcastic replies to shield myself from piety. I've stared long and hard into my future, Raising my eyes back devoid of feelings. Shed tears at simple matters, and Lost friends who either called me selfish or a sick proud soul. So this midnight as I find my way back to my cradle, Everything rushes in. My earplugs are blaring 'Beautiful night' on repeat; A song that I fancy just for the sonorous beats, The lyrics I doubt I'd ever relate to. My flashlight is out, But my feet know their way home. My lips are eager to mumble nicer words, To everyone of them. I keep walking. By morning, it would all be gone. These memories, This knot in my belly. It definitely is a beautiful night.

23/11. Tonight, I'd stay wrapped up in my fluffy blankets, Pick at my purple fingernails smeared in messy polish, Occasionally glance up at the patterns I've made in ink, high up on my yellow walls. My eyes have learnt to skip the daily reminder of my goals I put up there though; (It's routine to scoff at that lately.) I'd shield my eyes from the 100 Watt light bulb That otherwise threatens to blind me, Kick my feet high in the air, Tune up the music volume on my poor quality headset, (I've been dying to get a $300 worth Beats by Dre headset) But it's loud enough to blare through my eardrums. I definitely do not mind one bit; Loud enough to take me floating through the seven heavens and nine clouds, Or at least make a show of doing just that. Loud music, Lazy scribblings, And definitely long naps under fluffy blankets- That's my forté. S.I.Y.A.H

We don't talk much anymore. Actually, we don't talk at all  I. It probably happens to a lot of us; We meet up with another beautiful soul, Fascinated as our eyes shimmer in pure adoration. We get drawn to each other; Late night chats, Good morning texts, Long phone calls into the evenings. We shared every of our dreams. Giggling, as our goals clashed time and again, Ticking items of the soulmate target, A down to earth kinda challenge. "I've found another best friend, This would last forever." We told each other, and talked even more; Split our souls in halves and exchanged a part each. The stars aligned our fates, as our fingers reached for one another.  II. The evenings are lonely these days. The cold nights, a recurring torture, And the stars have begun to bear another meaning. How much do I miss you? I really can't put a figure on that. I can tell you it gets me slipping outta my head a lotta times though. How the good...

The first examination I ever failed was my entrance exam into primary 5; I can't remember so many details of how the sun appeared or the color of the moon, Nor do I have any memories of what I was eating that day or the night I was told I had failed, But one thing I never forgot was the dress I wore to the exam- It was my favorite; Pink in so many calm shades, And my pointy way-too-loud "stilletos". I failed the exam, Even as I was supposed to uphold a reputation as a star pupil from Abule-Egba, Lagos. But I couldn't get into primary 5 in Canaanland, Ota. The beautiful view that made me stare in awe, Leaving mouth hanging as we drove through to the reputable school, Was to remain in my dreams. It was pathetic. So the next time I went, I can't remember either what I was wearing. Although I am so sure it had been a plain blouse - I think it was green- and a shabby skirt; definitely plain also. I was probably wearing the same shoes (I nev...

   Forgive me father, For I have sinned These words played in my thoughts for so many seconds after I heard it on Sunday during mass. Minutes later, I started typing with no idea whatsoever how it would play out. Here goes what stared me in the face when I was done: Dancing in utter darkness, As tiny specks of unholy lights bounced over my skin. I twirled, Turned And ripped my garb off, strip after strip. Forgive me father, For I very much knew what I was doing My eyes were filled with smoke from their lit pipes Yet rather than turn away, I let them grip my waist in their free hands As they passed me from the less high to the barely conscious. Forgive me father, For rather than be disgusted I giggled and sometimes I moaned. Forgive me father, For the night went really fast. In leaps and bounds the seconds ticked And I lost count of how many times my back hit a wall Sometimes it was a cushion Most of the other times, they weren't so gentle And hell must have parte...

I've tried so hard to stay conscious but have no control over my thoughts; They pull me to depths I never knew existed in my head. It gets so hard to catch my breath when I find myself so deep in and I get lost over again. I think I blacked out a couple of times; some of which you sat by my side. You asked me what was wrong once and I told you I was tired; Indeed, I was choking on my own breath that second. You told me everyone was tired, and you believed I was strong enough to get my shit together. I was gagged, bound and possessed; how was I supposed to rein myself in? Sometimes ago, I saw a post on the gram about speaking to God. When people fail to listen, God listens, they promised. And so I spoke to God; I spoke to the big deity up there and waited to hear him say something to me. They didn’t tell me that he never did speak back to the possessed ones My poorly formed words bouncing off high end walls and ripping through my soul I wept and screamed every midni...