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Forgive me




 
 Forgive me father,
For I have sinned

These words played in my thoughts for so many seconds after I heard it on Sunday during mass. Minutes later, I started typing with no idea whatsoever how it would play out. Here goes what stared me in the face when I was done:


Dancing in utter darkness,
As tiny specks of unholy lights bounced over my skin.
I twirled,
Turned
And ripped my garb off, strip after strip.

Forgive me father,
For I very much knew what I was doing
My eyes were filled with smoke from their lit pipes
Yet rather than turn away,
I let them grip my waist in their free hands
As they passed me from the less high to the barely conscious.
Forgive me father,
For rather than be disgusted I giggled and sometimes I moaned.

Forgive me father,
For the night went really fast.
In leaps and bounds the seconds ticked
And I lost count of how many times my back hit a wall
Sometimes it was a cushion
Most of the other times, they weren't so gentle
And hell must have parted my hips
For pain hit me in strange new ways
Ways I dare not confess in the ears of a holy priest.


Forgive me father,
For I met with sin eye to eye,
And somewhat overdosed on hallucinogens.
I hit the fourth dimension, father
And I threw my head back in utter pleasure.

Forgive me father,
For even now as I kneel before you,
My eyes just caught another text inviting me over for the night
And my thoughts are on the red gown I got offered by Kianna.
I know I want it on my skin so bad
And even more,
I want it off my skin before midnight strikes nigh.

Forgive me father,
For I am lost
And as I place my lips on the rosary beads every morning,
I know now that I never want to be found.

Forgive me,
For sin now swims in my veins
And passion for what you term unholy
Now dwells in my core

 Qetsiyah '18(12)
 Image credit : @wlop

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