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Would it be too much if..?






I said so many sorrys and forgot what I was apologizing for.



It makes everything better when you take responsibility and mutter the word, sorry. I learnt that very early in life, so I mastered the art of apologizing. I accepted my flaws right from being a terrible cook, (or maybe that's what I've been made to believe since I had to apologise for every pinch of salt that exceeded the cut for her taste buds), to being an awful student who never had perfect grades.

I get scared before presenting myself to be assessed and when a comment is passed about a stray hair strand outside the bun, I apologise for it- Identity crisis? I say sorry for looking below par and being poor at making myself pretty. I said sorry when he walked over me, and apologized to whoever cared to ask for being so gullible.

I said sorry when I tripped and made people ask if I was okay. I said sorry when I choked on water and made everyone worried. I said sorry for not eating a lot and being skinny. I apologized over and over for my unhealthy lack of appetite when she didn't stop talking about it.

I apologized for coming too early, then I apologise for coming right on time. I said sorry for existing, and a lot of more sorrys for making people pity me. A few times I got yelled at for being too soft, and so I apologized even more profusely and cried some more when they let me be. 

I'm so sorry for everything I make myself endure because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm sorry I can't get my acts together and cry like a hopeless sissy.

I'm sorry for making you read my apology tale, it just exhausts me sometimes. Tonight, I said sorry before she could further her criticism and stared at my fingers while she told me to do better. I'm sorry I'm not perfect, I'm sorry I fail at being perfect."





-Siyah.

Picture credit:Lexonart


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