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Vulnerable


 It's been ages since I've written this. I guess it's high time I put it up for view.




Vulnerable







The sunny day swaths away
Twilight beckons on me
All day I have waited for this hour
When my courage will be thence tested
My bosom tugs from within
And I ask myself,
"Have I really gained enough courage still...?"


Then that voice in my head whispers to me
Pushing me forward as always
Smiling to myself,
I make up my mind
If I wish to stop being addressed as a poor lass
I must rise to the call and prove myself of age
I must prove myself different


I haul a scarf over my head and slip into my sandals
Sweeping out of what has always been my cove
I step into the cold dark
Stillness befalls around me
I shudder at the icy breeze
But I move on and on
Further and further
 Still deeper within.


Everything seems too calm
I however scoff at recollection of the scary tales told at twilight
Only dumb maidens shudder at such tales
And now I sneer at them
Who could've known
I would be much more daunting than the weakling
I have always been portrayed as?



The breeze is colder now
As I look around me
There seems to be someone around
I still at the thought of being challenged in my new world
Who could it be here in the heart of the dark
My heart pounds against my chest
 And I take in rapid breaths
It's probably my hallucination
For I am a hero in my own world
Yet as I lift my encumbered feet, it feels limp.


A rustle...
A slight hiss...
A faint whisper...
It's all in my head,
I keep reassuring
The sound of the hiss gets closer
The whisper resounds in my head


The ghoul of the night...
Could it be true after all?
Am I safe after all?
Was it worth the daunt after all?
A distant whisper....
A hurried rustle...
It's going to happen anytime now


I tremble at the thought of the ghoul sneaking on me
I thought I was strong enough
But alas, I never would be
I thought I could stir on my own
Alas! I never would reach come off age
Not according to the local calendar at least


My people have made it so
I am to keep being in that cove house
Where a false sense of security is painted
Are we ever safe?
Do we ever have a voice?
Can we ever revolt?


Are maidens to tremble at the thought of a revolution?
Must we always have a knight to defend us?
When will the beckon of twilight bring us the joy of freedom?
When will we have a voice and not distant whispers?
When will we rise to the darkness that has enveloped our every move? When will we portray our hearts as made of steel?

When...oh when?!!

How much longer before we are to quit being vulnerable?
The darkness is consuming
Choking against my throat
It could just be behind me now.


But I fear to look into the eyes of the night's custodian
The daunting whisper in my head is gone
The fierce girl that wished a warrior's courage is dying
Vulnerability spills out of me



I wish strength
I wish help
Somebody....
Anybody....
Definitely there's nobody,
Could there?






'Siyah 2017
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